THIS IS ALL MY FAULT

i don't have anyone to blame but myself
i wish i were braver
i wish this whole pride crap didn't affect me
i wish i could have just had the audacity to say yes. i want to.
THIS ISN'T ANYONE ELSE'S FAULT.
i guess this is all just going to be a lesson that i have to learn to speak up.
it's never been a strong point of mine, but after .. this. and how odd i am feeling right now, i know that i can't let something like this ever, ever happen to me again. ever.

this reminds me of kaitlyn's articles about mixed feelings.
people would get what they wanted more often if only they'd ask. too bad it seems to be such a fucking foreign idea.
i'm sad