Sunday, March 13, 2011

Last time I was pretty active on this was also the end of last quarter, when I was on a tumblr ban due to finals. And I'm here yet again for the very same reason. A quarter ago, this day was spent in my bed, listening, talking to my parents, battling some really intense disease that hit me hard, leaving me incapable of studying for my humcore final the next day. Here I am, 14 weeks later, and I'm still not studying for humcore final tomorrow. I should, I really should but somehow I find myself incapable of doing such. Too many thoughts swirling inside my head and I know spring break is a much needed hiatus from everything I have going on.
Well. I'm supposed to be at Starbucks now, but me and my thoughts, we'll be back.

Friday, March 11, 2011


Two of the huge things on campus that I just KNOW I could add so much to decided I wasn't good enough. That they didn't want me. I want to say FUCK YOU except I still am going to try. I have a couple more years here, a couple more tries and what these two organizations stand for are far bigger than I am, they offer so much more than I could. I truly want to help, to make a difference on this campus I have come to love, and I owe it to the campus, for the future anteaters to keep on going, keep looking ahead.
Still. It sucks though. Especially because people tell me that I'm made for this sort of thing, that being enthusiastic is enthusiastic and I can channel that through other people and make them excited too. That when I tell people I'm applying for this sort of stuff, they squeal about how perfect I am. It doesn't get to my head, but it makes rejection a little even worse. Because I think to myself, ask myself what I could have done wrong if i really am so good for this.