Friday, February 12, 2010


No, not USC. Where a bunch of my friends have gotten scholarships and will probably end up. I didn't apply, which made my dad kind of mad. He's also mad that I didn't apply to any Ivies but then I know that if I did, my other applications would have been shaky. And I'm pretty confident in my essay quality. With the help of cxu at like 3am, I'm pretty sure that each one of my essays actually says something about me. I don't know why I'm thinking about this right now. I wrote one of my personal statements on nail polish and I guess that seems silly but that's my favorite one. I think I'll delete my college app folder after I find out my decisions because seeing little notices of failure on my hard drive is going to suck. So far, pretty much everyone I know has found out about Irvine.. and I haven't. I neurotically check multiple times a day but I've forced myself to limit myself to just one. As if that's not crazy either. I don't know why I digressed onto the subject matter of colleges. I guess it's just that easy. It's like, the one thing everyone in the class of 2010 has in common homg colleges and I'm kind of scared but being patient right now.
I saw Ms Barbour yesterday! She came back from England it was kind of exciting.
So yeah. SC. idk if it's an sc or I'm just too scared to actually like.. get into this kind of mess again. Mess? Maybe. It could be happyhappy but I think it's too late in the game to risk this kind of thing. And I have such a bad track record. And sometimes I feel like the girl in that poem we read in english the other day. It's called "Bitch" but we substitute it with "Cucumber" I feel like the cucumber. I feel too eager and clingy onto what happiness we've had together and I don't think I could ever be your priority, so I'll just be content with what it is. And it's so dumb right now. 4 months and I'm gone.
Time for practice/ valentine'sday/ pichu!

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