Monday, June 6, 2011

Today I started packing. Well, that's a lie. I started packing when I went home last week. Two boxes, two bags. And then four bags when my mom dropped by yesterday. Today I took off my corkboards and boy have they left a mess on the wall. Today I took off my wall of photographs and put them in a box. Today I took off the beautiful bow in my window and my pledge sister noticed. Today it hit me that when my roommate leaves on Tuesday, it will be for the last time. The final pages of TifFeliza, the greatest roommates in the history of the world. Today I went downstairs and talked to JLai for a little about her breakup and even though we didn't become as close as I would have liked, I know that she will always be willing to be an ear, and she knows that I am too. Today I realized that it's going to be so difficult to stay in touch, because it's never going to be this easy again, to go downstairs or upstairs and have fun, let loose. Today I realized that the rager on Thursday very much might be the last time I overestimate my limits with the boys upstairs.
Today my last finals week as a first year starts. Today is the beginning of the end.
I thought about how sad I was maybe week 4 of fall quarter, when that 'window' of just being able to meet people whenver closed, and I worried that after then I wouldn't get to meet people anymore. Well. That was a big misconception. Winter quarter rolled along, I became more active in CA. And by some chance I texted Mandy that one night at the ARC and she asked if I wanted to go to that sigep pa party... I could never have known it was the beginning of something like this. And I kept meeting people. And then I joined SK and the meeting, well, it never stops. I love it. I think about all the people I've met and how incredibly happy I am to have met them. And how if I went to another school I never would have met them. Sure, maybe I'd be just as happy meeting different people in a different place.. but now.. I could never ever ever replace any of them. And the Arcadia girls that I've become closer too just because we go to UCI... I would never trade our relationship for anything. There are people I'm so genuinely comfortable with, it's ridiculous.
And don't get me started on my roommate. Every day I spend with her I'm more and more amazed that someone with such a pure and genuine heart exists. And every day, even though I hate the way UCI operates sometime, I'm convinced that them giving me Feliza as a roommate just proves that don't completely hate me. I just.. I just can't talk about that point in time where I don't get to be her roommate anymore so I'm thinking I just won't. Because to me, she's always 'roomie.' To her, I will always be BTT. As excited as I am to room with one of my best friends next year (aka in two weeks!) there will always be a special place in my heart for my random roommate, the highlight of my dorming experience.
And then I thought about the people I haven't met yet. I haven't met my future husband yet, I don't think. I haven't met any boy, actually, that would make me do anything crazy. And somehow I'm okay with that. I knw that having a boyfriend or a relationship or any sort of ball/chain my first year wouldn't have made this as great as it has been. I thoroughly enjoy being a single lady and being able to act like one. Not that I've done anything like... yeah.. but still. The freedom is nice. Complete freedom. I haven't met my future little yet. Well, duhhhhhhhhhhh. But this girl, like future husband.. I'm so excited to meet them.
I don't know what I'm getting at anymore. I guess I'm just getting my fingers warmed up and ready to start working on my paper for real.. but this is just the beginning of my end of first year reflection posts.

Though I must say... it's going to be WEIRD introducing myself as a second year.. even though in a little over a month I'll technically be a junior...

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