Angels' Game!

A little before the game was supposed to start, I got a call from the friends I was going with and long story short, I ended up driving myself to Edison Field, hitting every single red light and hitting traffic on all three freeways it took to get there. And I got lost. Parked amidst a bunch of sketchy drunk tailgaters and booked it across the street.. by myself. The game itself was enjoyable, an interesting mix of fans and non-fans and just baseball-pathetic. And right as we were losing hope about seeing ANY action at all... there was a home run. From the other team. Grr. Left after the most amusing kiss-cam I've seen in all my years of the game. A little old man doing a fist pump before kissing his wife. A couple flat out giving the camera a not amused face. A girl looking away and the boy pulling her close. An awkward couple looking at each other only to have the man lean over his daughter to kiss his wife. It's cute.

Seeing as I parked it a sketchy area, sports fans are known to be rowdy and the fact that I am all by myself (cue Celine Dion song) I asked my friend to drive me to my car. Little did we know it would take the better part of half an hour to actually reach my car, with all the roadblocks for traffic control being set up. However, we did get to see the Disneyland fireworks and watch the halo light up, meaning, we won!  At long last we kind of found where I parked, I got out at the stop sign and booked it to my car and back home, all the while feeling very unsafe. 

And now I'm back.

With a large handful of free Jack in the Box pancake coupons

and an Angels gnome bobblehead.

I have a midterm tomorrow. I guess I should study or something? 

Until next time.... if anyone reads this anyway.

bio blog #2

I just took the sample midterm. Out of all the non-green-plant questions, I got 90% of them right! I just have about 60 pages left to read about protists and green plants and I need to study the lineages of bacteria, archaea, protists and green plants but other than that... I'm doing a much better job buckling down and seriously cracking open my book before the night before my midterm which is just so rare for me. It honestly is not something that happens often.
Also I was on time for class today.
We learned about mushrooms.
I'm a little terrified of mushrooms.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Last Friday I took a trip down to San Diego with one of my current roommates to visit an old friends. She's from San Diego, so she dropped me off on the UCSD campus so I could catch up with some of my old high school friends while she reconnected with hers. It was a truly lovely day. I've known my other roommates a lot longer so it was nice sitting in traffic for a couple hours talking to her. And the weather was a little overcast, a little somber but the warmth of the company quickly took the edge of that. Of course no trip would be truly complete without food. The roomie and I went to Lolita's for carne asada, splitting paths with the high school friends who went to the famed Phil's BBQ, a venture I will save for my next trip down. The night ended with roomie taking me to a couple hilltops to gaze over the suburban San Diego skyline-- pretty breathtaking, a nice middle ground between the glittering city lights from Griffith Observatory and the kind of dinky Irvine lights seen from Suicide Hill. Before heading back to Irvine that night, we stopped for some strawberry boba and ran into some college friends!

I'm going to try to update this more. Be more of a blogger than a reblogger.
But then again, I do say this every time I'm locked out of Tumblr and should be studying. I really do.

bio blog #1

Chapter 1: Biology and the Tree of Life
- Biological sciences are based on
1) cell theory (the theory that all cells come from pre-existing cells and all organisms are made of cells)
2) the theory of evolution by natural selection, that heritable traits eventually affect populations because some of them produce more offspring with more success
because all cells are made from pre-existing cells, we are all related from a common ancestor
- phylogenetic tree is a graphical representation of the evolutionary species among species and each tip of the phylogenetic tree is a species and each little triangle thing is a monophyletic group (aka a cale or a lineage) these relationships are dissected by looking at similarities and differences between traits and species in these cales. closely related species are placed closer together on the tree
scientists look at rRNA of different species to decide how similar/closely related they are to each other.
- biologists ask questions and generate hypotheses and such to try to explain then. pattern/process (see a pattern in nature, process explains the pattern)

"For you, I will"

I used to think that Teddy Geiger song was the most romantic thing in the world. As a princess, what could be better than someone who would do anything? And just like that, if you guys have read/watched The Princess Bride, you'll recall the part about Westley insisting that with every "As you wish" he uttered to Buttercup was embedded an "I love you."
So apparently love is about sacrifice. Self sacrifice. But I can't expect a guy to lay it all down for me when I won't reciprocate. Just as important as it is to love yourself before you can ask for love, you must first be willing to give yourself up in hopes one day, someone will put it all on the line for you.

it's everything i can do right now to not break down and cry
not because i have to kick butt on my chem final to get that A i don't deserve (this is because i forget online homework is real homework and frequently sleep through deadlines)

no. i can barely keep it together because it's the beginning of the end. people are stopping by my room, waking me up sometimes, telling me they're leaving. goodbyes all around. i can't... i can't handle this. i'm such an emotional and sentimental person this is incredibly distracting from the final i have in about 16 hours. and i've only begun studying.
i'm going to miss you guys so so so much. i know we'll see each other again but.. it isn't the same.

ch-ch-ch-change

I'm starting to pack up because I need to rearrange my furniture before my roommate leaves. Mostly so she can help me.
And that's when it hit me.
For the next four years, at least, I'm going to be moving in and out somewhere different each time.
It was hard to leave home. It's even harder to leave Lorien 204 because I know that I will never again sleep in this bed when I move out. This place houses so many memories.
But what about next year, a whole year of "living on my own" with three of my closest friends + my big? A whole year of a different kind of memories I'll be boxing up.
And if things go well, the year after that I'll be saying goodbye after living in the sorority house.
And if things go as planned, the year after that I'll be holding back tears saying goodbye to my residents when I become an RA. I'll be holding back tears as I say goodbye to UCI, the place that has shaped me and molded me and given me so many amazing memories.
Moving in and out is an emotional process. We're no longer the nomads we once were and I don't think we're designed to handle this kind of change, at least not this often. This is my first move out. There will be at least three more after this, each special after a meaningful year I would never replace or forget.
This is so sad. Incredibly sad.
But there's no time to dwell on that.
Here's to memories in these places I inhabit.
Here's to the amazing people I inhabit these spaces with.
Here's to moving in, moving out and moving on.

Today I started packing. Well, that's a lie. I started packing when I went home last week. Two boxes, two bags. And then four bags when my mom dropped by yesterday. Today I took off my corkboards and boy have they left a mess on the wall. Today I took off my wall of photographs and put them in a box. Today I took off the beautiful bow in my window and my pledge sister noticed. Today it hit me that when my roommate leaves on Tuesday, it will be for the last time. The final pages of TifFeliza, the greatest roommates in the history of the world. Today I went downstairs and talked to JLai for a little about her breakup and even though we didn't become as close as I would have liked, I know that she will always be willing to be an ear, and she knows that I am too. Today I realized that it's going to be so difficult to stay in touch, because it's never going to be this easy again, to go downstairs or upstairs and have fun, let loose. Today I realized that the rager on Thursday very much might be the last time I overestimate my limits with the boys upstairs.
Today my last finals week as a first year starts. Today is the beginning of the end.
I thought about how sad I was maybe week 4 of fall quarter, when that 'window' of just being able to meet people whenver closed, and I worried that after then I wouldn't get to meet people anymore. Well. That was a big misconception. Winter quarter rolled along, I became more active in CA. And by some chance I texted Mandy that one night at the ARC and she asked if I wanted to go to that sigep pa party... I could never have known it was the beginning of something like this. And I kept meeting people. And then I joined SK and the meeting, well, it never stops. I love it. I think about all the people I've met and how incredibly happy I am to have met them. And how if I went to another school I never would have met them. Sure, maybe I'd be just as happy meeting different people in a different place.. but now.. I could never ever ever replace any of them. And the Arcadia girls that I've become closer too just because we go to UCI... I would never trade our relationship for anything. There are people I'm so genuinely comfortable with, it's ridiculous.
And don't get me started on my roommate. Every day I spend with her I'm more and more amazed that someone with such a pure and genuine heart exists. And every day, even though I hate the way UCI operates sometime, I'm convinced that them giving me Feliza as a roommate just proves that don't completely hate me. I just.. I just can't talk about that point in time where I don't get to be her roommate anymore so I'm thinking I just won't. Because to me, she's always 'roomie.' To her, I will always be BTT. As excited as I am to room with one of my best friends next year (aka in two weeks!) there will always be a special place in my heart for my random roommate, the highlight of my dorming experience.
And then I thought about the people I haven't met yet. I haven't met my future husband yet, I don't think. I haven't met any boy, actually, that would make me do anything crazy. And somehow I'm okay with that. I knw that having a boyfriend or a relationship or any sort of ball/chain my first year wouldn't have made this as great as it has been. I thoroughly enjoy being a single lady and being able to act like one. Not that I've done anything like... yeah.. but still. The freedom is nice. Complete freedom. I haven't met my future little yet. Well, duhhhhhhhhhhh. But this girl, like future husband.. I'm so excited to meet them.
I don't know what I'm getting at anymore. I guess I'm just getting my fingers warmed up and ready to start working on my paper for real.. but this is just the beginning of my end of first year reflection posts.

Though I must say... it's going to be WEIRD introducing myself as a second year.. even though in a little over a month I'll technically be a junior...

Last time I was pretty active on this was also the end of last quarter, when I was on a tumblr ban due to finals. And I'm here yet again for the very same reason. A quarter ago, this day was spent in my bed, listening, talking to my parents, battling some really intense disease that hit me hard, leaving me incapable of studying for my humcore final the next day. Here I am, 14 weeks later, and I'm still not studying for humcore final tomorrow. I should, I really should but somehow I find myself incapable of doing such. Too many thoughts swirling inside my head and I know spring break is a much needed hiatus from everything I have going on.
Well. I'm supposed to be at Starbucks now, but me and my thoughts, we'll be back.

r-e-j-e-c-t-i-o-n

\
Two of the huge things on campus that I just KNOW I could add so much to decided I wasn't good enough. That they didn't want me. I want to say FUCK YOU except I still am going to try. I have a couple more years here, a couple more tries and what these two organizations stand for are far bigger than I am, they offer so much more than I could. I truly want to help, to make a difference on this campus I have come to love, and I owe it to the campus, for the future anteaters to keep on going, keep looking ahead.
Still. It sucks though. Especially because people tell me that I'm made for this sort of thing, that being enthusiastic is enthusiastic and I can channel that through other people and make them excited too. That when I tell people I'm applying for this sort of stuff, they squeal about how perfect I am. It doesn't get to my head, but it makes rejection a little even worse. Because I think to myself, ask myself what I could have done wrong if i really am so good for this.

I have a final in like three hours and instead of studying because I am not friends with math and I actually sort of need to, I'm just sitting here at my (ridiculously!) clean desk contemplating what the fuck I've accomplished this quarter. What... have... I... accomplished? Have I met my soul mate? Oh hell no, I haven't even met any guys I can date. Have I made any lifelong friends and future bridesmaids? I really can't say so for certain. Have I kicked ass in school? No, because I've been too busy doing whatever it is I've been doing and not focusing on academics. It's times like these I really regret not rushing because I would then at least have an excuse...

Chocolate muffin, banana

Breakfast of champions? I hope so. Noms of the terrible college student who misses class and tries to read her entire textbook the night before.The one who doesn't even really know what time her final starts so she walks halfway there half an hour early and is now blogging about her morning instead of using this extra 15 minutes to study. Who puts more thought into appearance than crammming on finals morning. Good luck to me, indeed. I had an 87 on the midterm, near perfect attendance and decent participation so we shall see where that, in tandem to the final lands me.
Last night I spent in the science library for the second time, ever. I love that place. I could get a lot of studying done there.

Something not done nearly enough #1

smelling food before you eat it. it's like eating it twice.

It's been a while.

To the point where I don't even know who sees it.
But. The password to my tumblr has been changed because it's finals week. Finals, already? The first quarter of my college experience has all but flown by and I don't want to think about what I've accomplished for fear that I'll be vastly disappointed. I've learned a lot, that's for sure. But it's just astounding that in about 5 hours I"ll have my first final that I've only barely studied for.
Yesterday I woke up incredibly dizzy. The entire room was spinning, so I thought the heater was jsut too hot and I went and opened a window and tried to go back to sleep because it was only 8am. Bad move. Most movement made me just feel a little bit like vomiting so I rolled out of my really high bed and started rummaging through my bottom drawer to find pepto bismol to maybe make me feel better. My roommate had gone home for the weekend and it was 8am on a Sunday morning. Unable to find the pink bismuth, I went and wrapped myself around our suite toilet, too uncoordinated to even bother closing the door behind me. I sat there, so unsanitary, thinking of what i could possibly look like right now. A suitemate came out of the shower and I asked her to get me the pepto and she did, I borrowed her scissors and I took it and all seemed to be fine. She went away and then I threw up. The contents of my stomach weren't much but the unmistakeable of scent of tomat-basil Wheat Thins that I had scarfed the night before rose through the air and made me feel that much worse. I remembered the last time I threw up-- 8th grade, the afternoon before the promotion party, genuinely sick. And here I was, a college student, "praying to the porcelain God" on a Saturday morning. So very unpredictable, right? But the thing is I didn't drink the night before. I had shots... of espresso in a vain attempt to keep myself awake to study, to study, to succeed. I brushed my teeth and roll back into bed, the world still spinning, so I fall off the bed and I sit on the floor, wrapped in my comforter, phone balanced on my ear as I call my daddy and he all but jumps and tells me that he and my mother are coming down right then to see me. I miraculously pull myself back onto my bed and thank God that He didn't let me run away to Reed or somewhere far that would have prohibited this from happening. I thanked Him for blessing me with a father who could make me better, at least physically and then I fell asleep.
I woke up to my parents calling my name through my window as I stumble out of my room to open the door for them, literally bouncing off the walls. I run into hallmates and I am crouched over the door as I wait for my parents before I realize they are coming from the front door. I try to go downstairs but I fall, I am a mess. I smell like vomit. I hear my hallmates twittering: Is she drunk? I want to die of embarrassment. I open the door for them and I retrace my clumsy steps back to my room. The rest of the day is a blur. I take lots of anti-vertigo medication, I try to sleep, I vomit once more, I feel better to eat, I eat Cheerios and I'm so glad that my parents are here even though they are all over my hall. I would normally be embarrassed as to how everywhere they are but in the moment, unable to even turn my head without feeling the weight of the world pulling me around the wrong way, I am so glad they're here. I'm so glad that they gave up shopping and having fun to spend a day with their sick daughter who is unable to truly vocalize how happy she is to see them. A daughter who just keeps rambling on about how she needs to study, trying so hard only to have it all backfire on her.
I have a final in 5 hours and I'm not terribly worried for that one. I'm more worried for the one I have at 10am tomorrow, the one I was supposed to spend the entire day cramming yesterday for but will only have about 5 hours tonight for. There's nothing I can do but hope for the best. I know they say that in college your finals can make or break your grade but I feel like in my case, at least, I've prepared an adequate amount for each that I know that the worst I can do is amount to a bunch of B's. Though for some of my classes I've worked an A-level of effort, something that I've never done in high school. Well, anyway. Time to go have a last hurrah with my friends Epictetus, Epicurus, Panofsky, Britten, Maimonides, and how could I forget? God.

6/16

i did more driving, mostly turning around and around
no more popped blood vessel which is good
went to the bank to deposit money then went to the vs semi annual sale, got good deals
then went to dance class
and home to watch sytycd

6/15

this is a result of driving
ahaha it's no big deal, i just got really stressed and i guess a blood vessel popped. the only thing is that it looks disgusting, but it doesn't hurt or anything. later that day i went to ikea with my mom.

day one, i made these
prior to this i had lunch with an old friend
went to walmart and got crafty and bought materials for healthy eating and marshmallows

6/13

an unhappy family outing to the beach

cannot believe i missed alex's campaign thing for the general clusterfuck of uncomfortable and anger that are most family outings.

why can't it be like the show? i love family outing, season one with hyori and daesung >

anyway. for the sake of chronicling summer.

6/12

Woke up very, very grudgingly to go to dance class, but mostly because I was terrified of Ailsa's wrath. She's scary! Joyce called, offered to drive me which was nice because walking, albeit the fact that it's only a 10 minute walk, was more than my mind could handle. I mean, I got about.. 4 hours of sleep? Went there, signed up for a card anticipating Tiffany to want to split the card with me. Heheheh it was my first Saturday class. I like the instructor better, we did like the funny walking thing and a more fluid iso routine and rolls and king tut! Lalala did da dansing, saw Colin, when the ones who went to Saturday classes before went over "Apologize" except I never learned it so after a bit, I dropped out and he was like don't give up! Which is a nice thing to say but yeah. Joyce then took me home and I showered really fast to get to Vicki's recital.

Except.. my mother like vanished! ): And so I could not go and I still haven't found a way to tell her that I could not and I really, really wish I could have seen her play piano. Darnsies. So I stayed at home and ktfo'd while my brother came home with his obnoxious friends. Bleh! Then the mother came home way late and we made lists of things to buy and places to go before the summer ended. Then went to the grandmother's for dinner. Afterwards, the mother and I hit up the Griffith Park Observatory for some pretty sweet city lights.